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Ever since I was a young man, I always wanted to grow up and have the hottest girl possible to date me. I’d suspect that most guys share a similar dream. But when I got a bit older I set my goals even higher. I didn’t just want a hottie. I wanted a pornstar! My friends thought I was setting “unrealistic expectations” and that I needed to just marry whatever decent-looking bitch I could convince to stay with me. Well, joke’s on them! They’re married to ugly-ass skanks and I’m getting off with the industry’s finest over at ATK Girlfriends.

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I have a thing for beauty. I only date women that are Elevens. Fuck Tens. Tens are dog shit. I want to be inside pussies so tight, so wet, that I forget the last eleven girls I’ve been with. And I’ve been with a ton of chicks. So many that if I told you the number you’d never even believe me, so I won’t even tell you. (It’s 67. Yep.)

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Admitting that I have watched and even that I liked, Love Actually, usually results in other guys giving me grief, but I don’t care. It was a good movie.

There were boobs in it. It had Bilbo Baggins simulating sex, Rick Grimes pining after Keira Knightley, Liam Neeson looking at Claudia Schiffer porn, and all sorts of other gems. One of my favorite characters was the goofy British guy who insisted he was a God of sex but on the wrong continent. So off to the United States he went. And what happened once he got there? A bunch of smoking hot American girls at a country bar go crazy for his adorable accent and invite him to stay at their place. He gets to bang them all! January Jones, Elisha Cuthbert, Shannon Elizabeth, and Denise Richards were all over him. I wanted to be that British bastard so bad.

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I’m having a real hard time trying to resist my daughters hot friend and her sexual advances towards me. Try as I might I’m really struggling as she is always coming over to visit my daughter wearing these skimpy little outfits. My cock is hard at just the sight of her and it isn’t getting any better. The only reason I haven’t boned her already is I’m worried about what my daughter might think.

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